A few months ago, my husband and I went to a bar he had heard about from the guys at work. We went primarily because we were told it has one of the best happy hour menus in town.  But we also went out of curiosity.  You see, this bar is apparently known for its cougars.

Of course I don’t mean cougars as in the animal.  I’m talking about the older women scoping out younger guys.

The bar quickly filled, and we watched from our table like scientists conducting a field study in animal behavior as the cougars pounced on their prey. As far as the eye could see, attractive “older” women batted their eyelashes and released their pheromones for the younger men whose attention they had caught. I had never seen a cougar in action, and like a car accident on the highway, I couldn’t not look.

But as I studied this mating ritual, I couldn’t help but notice something about these cougars. These “older” women couldn’t have been much older than I am. How can that be?  I’m not old enough to be mistaken for a cougar. Am I?

According to Urban Dictionary, a cougar is defined as “A 35+ year old female who is on the ‘hunt’ for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male.” I’m certainly not hunting for men right now, young or old, but it appears I’m rapidly approaching the official cougar age. 

I don’t feel like I’m in my 30’s, but I often have lapses in time that cause me to falsely believe I am younger than I actually am. The other day I found a warm-up suit from my college swimming days. It looked brand new. Well of course it looks new, I thought, I was wearing it at swim meets only a few years ago. But then I did the math. It was issued my freshman year, and that was, OH MY GOSH, 16 years ago! That’s roughly half of my lifetime ago! 

Since we’re talking about age, I’ll tell you that I married a younger man. However, the few months of the year that we’re not the same age isn’t a significant enough age difference to qualify me as a cougar. According to Wikipedia, I’m also safe from cradle robber status, my husband does not qualify as a boy toy or jailbait, and our marriage is not a May-December romance.  But the lines are a little fuzzier concerning my standing as a MILF (please don’t make me say a bad word…if you don’t know what that is, look at the Wikipedia link) or a puma (a younger cougar-in-training).     

I don’t know when our society became so age-obsessed that terms like these even exist.  Surely there were cougars long before it became a phenomenon.  Just look at Susan Sarandon and Demi Moore.  And who hasn’t seen The Graduate?  These women obviously didn’t care about age, so why should everyone else?

So despite my initial dismay at my rapid approach to cougar age, I think I should start embracing my lack of youth and take solace in the fact that this cougar already got her younger man. 

Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson.

19 Comments on Next Stop: Cougar-Ville

  1. I think you truly start feeling "your age" when one of your kids starts telling you that "you just aren't cool" or when you start referring to your childhood as "back in the day". At least, that's when I realized that I really am in my 30's. LOL

  2. That was funny. What's not funny, is apparently I'm of cougar age! But I think I have to NOT have a husband in order to be one! I never want to be a cougar!
    Anyway, I enjoyed your experiment, hope you ate some good food! 😉

  3. Just had my first cougar experience. I'm not over 35 yet though. I don't know what the appeal is of a much younger guy. I didn't have fun. lol

  4. How funny! Well at 46 I would definitely be classed as a cougar. However, I am also a cradle snatcher as my husband is 6 years younger than me. So this cougar also already has her younger man. Great post today, loved the humor, I can so see you looking at the women in that bar….

  5. I love the fact that you and your husband went to the bar not only for the food, but also to watch the cougars in action. Hilarious!

    I want to know why there isn't a name for older guys who do the same thing (not sure if Sugar Daddy counts…)

  6. LOL loved this post. I am older than my hubs but I was only in my 20's (late) and so was he (early)so I don't think it qualifies me as a "cougar", maybe a PUMA. I have found that age differences where the the woman is now older are becoming quite more common, and I say good for the woman! There is an age difference that can be quite odd but I try not to pass judgement, like when they said womans husband is younger than say her children, but again…not my business. Men have been doing it for years so I guess it is only normal woman are now doing it with gusto too.

  7. Well stated! I too got myself a younger man….I was in my mid 20's when I met my now husband and he just turned 21 a few months before I did. So, I wouldn't be considered a cougar but I did land myself a younger hottie. LOL

  8. I love the post!! I refuse to age gracefully – my Mother taught me better – if an older woman still has "it"…more power to her!

  9. Do I need to come and bring over a bottle of wine? I think your having a hard week, and it has only begun! I guess because it's your birthday week?

    I love that your a "cougar"….meoooow! Foxy lady!!!! But seriously….35yrs old is considered to be a "cougar"….that scares me!!!!

  10. hahahaha. You are only as old as you feel. Age is meaningless these days and people don't even look their age anymore whether they look older or younger than their true number. What does it matter anyway? It's just a number. I will tell you that my husband is three months younger than me….my brother in law is one year younger than his wife….and my mother is two years older than her boyfriend she is seeing and will soon be marrying.

  11. I just hate labels, especially when I fit into that category. So what if an older woman…our age..wants to go out and have fun? We should have that right and not be ostracized by society and called names! We're really not that threatening, or maybe we are because we are mentally stronger and wiser.

    I too married a younger man by 2 and a half years and sometimes it sounds like 3, depending on the month, and I have to say that I bring the fun to the relationship, not to say that he does not keep me laughing also but my point is that age should not matter. It is how you feel and right now I feel like pouncing on those people who think that women should stay home upon the first wrinkle!

    Here is my cougar post titled, MEOW, http://www.isdisnormal.com/2009/07/29/feeling-cougar/

  12. I'm not at the age limit, but I am a cougar by all other definitions. My husband is 10 years younger than I am and was BARELY legal when we hooked up (he was 19, I was 29). But, it worked for us. Sure, I get jokes all the time about having to go home to burp my husband but I doubt alot of those people have a marriage as good as mine.. and hey, when I'm old and gray, he will be young enough to wipe my old wrinkly butt for me 😉

  13. So I'm a cougar, then. Well, does this mean I have to wear animal prints? I don't care what the protocol is for getting my prowl on, as as far as I'll go with that fashion faux pas is my zebra print jammies.

    I'm also 3 years older than my husband.


  14. A cougar is a sexually aggressive female over 40, looking to date late teens early twenties. 35 is still young. At some point after about 28, all bets are off anyway and nobody is the hunter or the prey. Just because an older women is dating a younger man doesn't make her a cougar, it's the aggressive seeking out of sexual conquests that defines an urban cougar. There are just as many younger men with fetish for older women and marry date 20 + years older their entire lives.

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