A few months ago, I posted a top 10 list of reasons why I won’t be nominated for domestic engineer of the year. This week I thought I’d expand upon that list by adding my…
Top 10 Reasons I Won’t Be Nominated for Mom of the Year
10) I don’t think I brushed Little C’s hair all weekend. My 3-year-old daughter has gorgeous blonde hair running down her back, hair that is so beautiful that I’ve only had it trimmed twice in her lifetime. But that means daily maintenance. A weekend without brushing means a weekend full of painful and unsightly tangles. My daughter looked like a ragamuffin by Monday.
9) I don’t think I brushed her teeth all weekend either.
8) I started the “10 minutes of cleaning rooms before bedtime” rule but most nights I’m too tired to enforce it. Therefore, the kids’ rooms are disaster areas.
7) I sometimes wish I could do Big C’s 1st grade homework for him so we could finish it in under an hour.
6) I spilled wine on Little C’s zebra mask she made at school, and instead of explaining to her why the black paint was bleeding, I hid the mask until I was sure she didn’t notice its disappearance and then buried it in the trash.
5) I was relieved when the neighbors invited both kids over for a playdate not because I knew the kids would have fun, but because it meant I had a couple of hours to myself.
4) Both kids refused to eat breakfast one morning, and instead of forcing them to eat, I let them go to school with empty bellies. I’m no good at tough love.
3) I spent Big C’s last soccer game catching up with a friend instead of watching him play. At least I didn’t miss much. He spent half the game catching up with a friend on the field instead of kicking the ball.
2) It’s mid-October, and I still haven’t bought a pumpkin. And thanks to the never-ending bathroom remodel and equipment blocking my attic entrance, I still don’t have Halloween decorations out either.
1) According to Big C, I am the worst mother in the world because I didn’t allow him to camp out in his friend’s backyard. To my defense, my Big C is 6 years old, and the participants in the camp out were ages 8 and 11. The host’s father DID NOT sleep in the tent with them, and I saw their flashlights still flashing at 10:30 PM, while Big C was fast asleep at 8 PM. Bad mom or responsible mom? I guess it’s just the beginning of tough parental decisions.
What job of the year will you NOT be nominated for?