If you’re anything like me, your life completely changes when your husband is deployed. You follow your own routines, and you develop your own coping mechanisms to try to keep your love alive while simultaneously trying to keep your heart from breaking. We have to do whatever we can to make our lives a little bit easier and to find happiness hidden beneath the loneliness. Over the years, I’ve developed certain behaviors that make me feel a little bit better about Mr. Roller Coaster being gone. Here are my…
Top 10 List of My Deployment Behaviors
10) I dab myself with his aftershave.
9) I move all favorite girly movies to the top of my Netflix queue.
8) I sleep on his side of the bed and hug his pillow.
7) I invite my son to have sleepovers with me every Friday. (Then I can hug him instead of the pillow).
6) I pull out my collection of “He’s on a trip” recipes and cook all the meals that I love and he won’t eat.
5) I wear his clothes when I’m sitting around the house.
4) I leave clean laundry sitting on our guest bed instead of hanging the clothes in their closets because no one is there to complain about my poor housekeeping skills.
3) I sniff his shirts I pulled out of the hamper right before he left.
2) I talk to Mr. Roller Coaster as if he’s right there in the room with me.
1) I take my cell phone with me everywhere, including the bathroom.
Am I a total weirdo or do you do some of these things too? What are some of YOUR deployment behaviors?
these are not weird at all. they are very cute and honest! 🙂
-i wear the hoodies that smell most like him, just to remind myself of him,pretend that he is with me,
-i sit and have full blown conversations as if he is actually arguing back with me.
-i go through all pictures that include him (or part of him, like a hand waving infront of the camera when he wont let me get a decent shot of him!)
-i keep myself busy with the horses, or dance, or throw myself into my job (although i hate it at the moment!) my horses take up a lot of time, so im able to get through it faster.
-i take my phone everywhere, and i sleep with it under my ear, just incase he is able to get a 2 minute call to me (fat chance!)
-i make all our favourite meals and set the table for two, pour him a drink, and i always toast to him, to us and to our future .
-i always say goodnight to him.
[we have this thing that when we look at the moon, we close one eye and hold your thumb over it, say good night then pretend to grab the moon as it looks really close. we say we are doing it at the same time, seeing the same thing at exactly the same time. dont ask why – just a silly thing we do!]
i miss him every second of every day, but i think blogging helps, and the support from fellow milspouses! 🙂
i love this blog! i hope youre having a great day. Best Wishes from England,
KirstieJayy x
I'd say you're perfectly normal…either that or we're all weird.
My cell phone never leaves me…I even take it into the bathroom when I shower and leave it on the sink just in case.
I sniff his cologne. I wear his clothes. Sometimes at the same time. I have sat on his Harley. He has a pet peeve about glasses being left once they are empty. Even though he's not here I still take them right out to the kitchen like he is.
I think we have to do things like us to keep us almost sane.
Love your blog!!
I pretty much do all of those things, except I spray his pillow with his cologne, and for #7 replace your son with my dog lol.
Totally guilty of wearing my phone everywhere. I don't think I wore an outfit that didn't have a pocket on it the entire time he was deployed.
🙂 ahh gotta love it when the phone comes with you EVERYWHERE (haha, thats how I am) and I too just love wearing his clothes around the house, nothing better then some comfy sweats! The sleepover idea with your son is so cute!
We just started our deployment, but I do a lot of those things! My cell phone is glued to me and yes that means it is with me in the bathroom too! I wear his sweatshirts and sometimes dab some after shave on them, because I love the smell. I also put one of his shirts on my pillow and cuddle with it at night! So if you are strange, I am too! 🙂
A wonderful list and not weird at all 🙂 Stopping by from "swinging by sunday" to follow and say hello. Love finding other military wives that blog 🙂
-I fall asleep with the TV on every night, so I don't feel like I'm going to bed alone.
-I sleep with my phone on my pillow, just in case he calls while I'm asleep.
-I talk to the dogs about my day, as if they know what I'm talking about.
-I kiss his picture before going to bed at night.
– I plan one big thing to look forward to every month (like a friends sleepover, road trip, or spa day). It gives me something to focus on.
I do a lot of those behaviors as well! Espcially sleeping with his pillow, taking my cellphone everywhere (including the bathroom), smelling his shirts and wearing his clothes when he's not around. I also blogged a lot while he was gone and I kept myself occupied with friends almost constantly to keep my mind off of him being away. 🙂
HI, I found your blog on Military Blog hop! I do about 90% of those things too!!! I also save all his voicemails and relisten to them!
http://thatssosavanna.blogspot.com/
I always have to have my cell phone on me because of deployments. Even when he is home, it is such a habit…ya know?
other than the dabbing on his cologne… I do everything else on your list. It is totally normal. Believe me, we have been through 6 deployments already and have a few years left in the MC so I am sure that won't be all.
Good luck and stay strong. YOU CAN DO IT!
The three of the top of my head are…
* I sleep on the couch. The bed is just to big so for 7+ months the couch it is.
* On my "sad panda" days I put on his green PT sweats (after spraying them with his cologne) and just lay there.
* Every Friday night for dinner I have Haagan Daaz chocolate peanut butter ice cream and wine. Might not be healthy, but who cares!
Not strange at all! I am also attached to my cell phone. But I go the opposite way–I am probably the strange one–in terms of things that remind me of him. I try to get everything of his out of my sight because it makes me too upset to have it around. The first week I get all of his laundry done and put it away, move all of his toiletry stuff, etc. The one thing I do keep is a shirt to snuggle with. 🙂 Hang in there!
Haha, yes to the cell phone always attached to me. I even play the car radio quieter so I will hear it ring. 🙂 I don't wear his clothes or aftershave. I let my kids cuddle with his shirt and uniforms though. Definite yes to the movies and meals. I become way more girly during deployment, and make a lot of soups and casseroles that he finds too healthy or boring. I keep the house CLEANER when he's gone. He is actually messier than both my kids!
9,8,5,4,2,1 -Those are the things I do as well! 🙂
Same here, when my husband was deployed, the phone went everywhere with me even too th e pool.lol I slept on his side of the bed and snuggled with my girls when I needed to hold someone, I was pregnant at the time so I felt a bit closer to him lol but your not crazy, at least to the military community. 😉
not a weirdo at all
my cell goes with me everywhere too…I have been known to refer to it as "my marriage"
I do all of the above minus the aftershave
just got a box home with his uniforms. I just sat on the sofa hugging one for a while. My cell phone is attached to me at all times.
Mine hasn't left yet (the days are ticking down though) I do most of those just for the months he is gone for training!