Riding the Roller Coaster was born in January 2010. Whether it was a result of my desire to write or my need to pass the time while the kids napped or my curiosity to discovery if anyone else was thinking what I was thinking, the genesis revolved around one common theme: something was missing in my life.
Uncertain if my life as a military spouse and stay-at-home mom would provide enough material to sustain a blog for longer than a week, I decided to try something new every day and blog about it. Some days that challenge was as simple as tossing old kids’ toys and clothes (Operation: Elimination) or removing the word “actually” from my vocabulary (Operation: De-Actually-ization). And some days, like Operation: Application when I completed my first job application after 5 years of stay-at-home momhood, were challenges that ending up changing my life.
Eight months after starting Riding the Roller Coaster, I transitioned from stay-at-home mom to kindergarten teacher. In between writing lesson plans, attending curriculum meetings and wondering if my military husband would ever stay home long enough to witness an entire baseball season for our kids, I was composing lists for my Top Tuesdays, organizing 61 weeks of Mil Spouse Weekly Roundups, guest posting for other blogs and attending blogging conferences. Thanks to those blogging conferences, my life changed again.
This little blog had somehow opened a career door for me, and after two years of teaching I got an offer to be a real paid writer. Unfortunately, my learning curve with the new role caused Roller Coaster to collect some serious dust. As I abandoned the personal outlet that introduced me to a new career and amazing friends and colleagues, I knew I was withdrawing for other reasons — my marriage was falling apart.
A couple months shy of my 4-year blogoversary, I got divorced. No longer a military spouse, naturally the focus of this blog has shifted. As a divorcee, I started writing about lessons learned as a single mom instead of writing about deployments. Instead of writing about my role in a marriage, I was writing about my role outside of a marriage.
I’ve been in a relationship for several years now, and I’m no longer a single mom. But the roller coaster of life never ends no matter what phase we’re in.
So after all these years of hanging out in my own tiny corner of the internet, I’m on a roller coaster of a different sort. Now I’m a 40-something former military spouse, a mom of a teen and a tween, a girlfriend of an amazing man and stepfather of my children, a freelance writer taking a break from writing a novel to work on a memoir, a regular at hot yoga classes and a world traveler.
It’s been an awesome ride of ups and downs and adventures in between. Thanks for riding along.
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I just came across your blog from the NYT piece your wrote. I, too, am a former Navy wife and I totally related to what you wrote. I've been divorced for 10 years now though! I can tell you it gets easier (I'm remarried and sooooo happy with that aspect of my life!), but I too struggled with my identity after the divorce. It helped that I moved away from a Navy community and back the midwest with my kids, but it was tough that no one seemed to understand what I was missing. I still miss having a built-in network of girlfriends from the neighborhood and/or my ex's command. I miss those women and I'm so glad I knew them! They taught me so much! Anyway, I'm currently dealing with DFAS on retirement issues (my ex refuses to tell me when he is retiring, but he's been in 27 years so it has to be soon) and that's why I stumbled upon your article. Anyway just wanted to say hi and I totally related to the identity crisis of being an ex-spouse.