To Whom It May Concern

Dear Weekend,

Where did you go?  How did you pass me by with nothing but errands and housework?  I wasn’t ready for you to end, leaving me in the hands of a Monday morning.  Please come back soon.

xoxo,

Your Biggest Fan

Dear Mother Nature,

Could you please share some sunshine?  This nonstop rain is getting old.  And making my puppy crazy.  And tracking mud in my house.  And canceling baseball games.  And working our Wii overtime.  And attracting mosquitoes.  And ruining my shoes.  Bring back the sun!

Sincerely,

A Waterlogged Sunshine Seeker

Dear Fill-In-The-Blank Military Health Clinic,

Two hours for a 4-year-old checkup?  Really?!  10 minutes with the nurse, 10 minutes with the doc, 10 minutes in immunizations.  Hmmm, that doesn’t add up to 2 hours on my calculator.  Is this your way of punishing working parents for booking Saturday appointments?  And you wonder why my child was uncooperative when you jammed her legs with needles.  Two hours in a health care facility and I’m not so cooperative either.

A Dissatisfied Customer

Dear Chicken Pox,
You exposed yourself to both of my children in the last week.  Please stay away.  And please tell parents not to bring their children to the Y when you have infected them.  You need to contain yourself.  I don’t need an outbreak in my home or my classroom.

Gratefully,
A Germophobe Mother and Teacher

Dear Mr. Roller Coaster,
Thank you for doing the 5 AM puppy wake up calls all weekend so I could sleep in 2 days in a row.  And thank you for staying home with the kids so I could go for a 6 mile run and then go shopping by myself.  And thank you for completing a home improvement project that looks amazing.  And thank you for the Mad Housewife chardonnay that helped me to not be a mad housewife after a rough day.  I needed a good laugh.

Love you,
Me

PS–But please don’t break any more plates at 6:30 in the morning.  Remember, I’m in the hands of a Monday morning.