Back in July, I wrote a post for Blue Star Families called “The Upside of Deployment.” I wrote it toward the end of Mr. Roller Coaster’s deployment, at a time when I had gotten comfortable with my solitary existence. There’s no way I could have written that piece at the beginning of the deployment. Because at the beginning, the bed is still too warm to even consider that there’s anything positive about spending the next several months missing your other half.
As I mentioned yesterday, Mr. Roller Coaster recently left “on a trip.” And I decided to go back and reread that post to remind myself to put on my rose-colored glasses. It doesn’t matter if our husbands are gone for 6 weeks or 6 months, we miss them just the same. And just the same, we need to focus on the positives instead of the negatives.
Thanks to the contributions of Facebook and Twitter friends back in July, here is my…
Top 10 List of the Upsides of Deployment
10) No snoring!
9) Sharing extra bonding time with my kids
8) Following my own routine and schedule
7) Spending time with friends
6) Eating whatever I want, whenever I want
5) Strengthening my marriage through a greater appreciation for my spouse and increased communication skills
4) Taking ownership of the television remote control (which includes free rein to watch chick flicks)
3) Saving money
2) Enjoying time to myself and focusing on work, personal projects, and hobbies
1) Feeling a sense of freedom and independence as well as gaining personal strength and self-confidence
What tops your list?
Living in Germany, my number 1 is having the car to myself! The first few days it was LIBERATING to take my children to school, go to the commissary, or just take a country drive without a second thought. Now I just need to get used to pumping gas again! LOL
This is my husband's third deployment in four years. Sometimes it is hard for me to see an upside, so I definitely needed this. Thank you!
I totally agree with the control of the remote. I get to watch all my girly shows with the lack of judgement. π
I appreciate your comments. I have a few friends who are military wives – one currently experiencing her first deployment in an 18 year marriage. Her husband is a weekend warrior sent to Afghanistan. I will pass the silver lining of the cloud of deployment onto her. Thanks for stopping by my blog π
less laundry, less dishes, less having to clean up after him (because my husband is messy!) lol
Thank you for stopping by my blog and following – I have followed back!
I love how you have listed the upside of something that I honestly could not even contemplate facing. I am full of admiration and gratitude for you, and all the other military wives, who go through these absences and deployments. Your positive attitudes and strength help to make our world a safer place and I really don't think you ladies get enough credit for it!
It's a wonderful thing when one can see positive things in everything π I think I need to hang out around more optimistics, if that's a word. π (No, I'm not in a deployment and never have been, but know one can't be too far off, and that kinda scares me. Realizing there can be good things too is great.)
I agree with this list! I think the freedom and independence are the biggest positives for me. I'm a SAHM of 2 little ones, so when he is here, the weekends revolve around what he wants to do, watch, who he wants to invite over, etc. When he's gone, every day is open for me to plan– whether it's exploring the local area more than he would, spending time with my mom friends, or just planning meals around MY tastes! It's also a lot easier for me to keep the house clean! Obviously no one is saying this makes it pleasant for him to be gone, but it is good to make the most of it!
my husband has been home for about a month, and for me it was definitely saving money and having the car all to myself to do whatever i want!
Self-Enlightenment–finding out just how much you can do and knowing that you have what it takes to get it done when it counts. Also the bonus of knowing that you can, but usually don't/won't have to.
I haven't gone through a deployment yet, but the inevitable is creeping up far too quickly. I was have a "down" day today – one of those days when no matter how many times someone says,"Oh, enjoy the time you have and quit worrying about something that's a few months down the road", it isn't going to make the day any better. I needed this, and I'm glad even after your husband leaves you can see some positivity. Kudos to you. π
My husband and I just got work of his third deployment coming up. I'm a little nervous, cause this will the the first time that I'm actually "on my own". Last time I spent it with my mother in law. Some things I'm looking forward to about this deployment are:
1. I can finally watch chick flicks on my new 47in flat screen!!
2. I can FINALLY decorate our one bedroom apartment the way I want to, to make it feel more like "home"
3. I can go back to college and focus on my school work.
4. I'll get to bond more with our new car, since he wont be driving it to work everyday.
5. I'll get to have "girls night out" to spend with my fellow army wives, and take my mind off things.
6. I read in a blog that I'm following about how her husband and her stuck to writing letters while he was deployed. (letters are exciting to get, and more personal in my opinion.) and i've decided thats what we're going to do. Hopefully I can make a scrapbook like she did out of all the letters I get, if any. π
These are some of the things I look forward to. π Thankyou for sharing yours!
I really needed this!! Deployment #2 is staring me in the face!
Saving Money is my personal fave!
We are a strong breed! π
Not having to cook "real meals" if I don't feel like it, and being able to maintain my own diet without risk of a chow buddy helping me sabotage!
Snoring is definitely Number 1 in this house! Not having to touch stinky PT clothes would make the cut, also. Great list!
I think it is important to see the upside. I like not having to worry about another person's schedule…only mine.
Not tripping over the piles of gear and not having every last inch of storage in the house taken up by the gear that gets pulled out of the closets and lumped into piles all over again for every single lay out. No lay out related mess! That part I can live with.