I am so thankful for each and every one of you. You are all supportive and loving and there when I need you. In return, I offer my shoulder to cry on and my undivided attention whenever you have issues you need to work out.
However, in the future, can you all please coordinate your issues so you’re not calling me on the same day? I can only hear so many “thanks for letting me vent” within a 12 hour period before I need to find my own shoulder to cry on. I’m glad I was able to console all of you yesterday, but I had such an unproductive day that I’m going to spend most of my day today playing catch-up.
Sending good juju to all of you,
A Good Listener Who Is Out of Pep Talks
Now that I’m working from home, I’m discovering that you ring ALL DAY LONG. I try to ignore you because, thanks to caller id, I’m forewarned of the obnoxiously incessant calls from Unavailable, Private Caller, Lower Interest, Insurance Srvc, Election Alert, Faith Prayer, and Wireless Caller from random area codes. But no matter how much I ignore you, you keep on ringing.
Add this to the friends calling in need of advice (see above), and I’m tempted to disconnect every phone in my house and hide my cell phone in the refrigerator. So telephone, please stop ringing. I don’t want my kids to witness their mother throwing you against the wall and laughing like a crazy person as it shatters into a million pieces.
In Need of Unplugging
Please stop sending your kids to my house to play because you need to pressure wash your gutters. Please stop accosting me in my own garage to beg me to babysit your children while you go to a concert. Please don’t leave your trash cans at the curb for an entire week. Please RSVP to my daughter’s birthday party. Please tell your son to stop leaving his scooter on my driveway before I run over it with my car.
And please, someone take MY kids today so I can get some work done.
That Neighbor on the Corner Who Always Says Yes But Wants to Say No
Dear Labrador Retriever,
Thanks for the cuddles.
Your Human Mama
Dear School Year,
I’m begging you. Please. Start. NOW.
A Mom Who Is So Over Summer